Getting married is one of the biggest life decisions people take. The decision involves making big commitments, making bigger adjustments and then sticking to it. At least that is how marriages are supposed to work.
Unfortunately, the thing with marriages is that it involves two individuals who at one point in their life took the decision to spend the rest of their lives together. Yet, people change. Sometimes, they change for the better. Other times, they change for the worse. Either way, the change is inevitable. And when the change does take place, it is the test of the marriage to see if the two involved individuals can find a way to make things work. These changes come in all shapes and forms, but they can all have a big impact on the marriage itself.
Why does a marriage fall apart? Here is a list exploring the main causes of divorce and the reasons why marriages fail:
1. Growing apart
Growing apart is a huge reason why marriages fail. When two people come together and fall in love, they decide to get married. It is a very organic process. Unfortunately, the same goes for two people falling out of love too. There are no bad feelings against each other in such a situation, just a realization that with newer life experiences, the two involved people have drifted apart from each other.
Due to the change, the people are not really the two people anymore who married each other in the first place, often the best thing to do in such a situation is to mutually part ways and go their different ways.
2. Money problems
Financial problems is one of the main causes of divorce and primary reasons why marriages fail. Money is one of the most important things that needs to be taken care of in a planned and sensitive manner in marriages. There needs to be an understanding and acceptance on aspects like the income source and the spending habits.
As time goes on, the need to save up also increases. Hence, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that couple who cannot agree on the saving plans and the spending habits often find it difficult to continue living with each other. Many times, marriages also end because one of the partners is careless about the money or is not contributing enough. And the resultant added pressure on the other partner forces them to end the marriage. If you are worried about money, having a low-key wedding and leading a minimalist lifestyle could potentially save your marriage.
3. Change in priorities
Humans have the habit of making plans and have objectives, and then work towards achieving them. When the goal is accomplished, people realise a new goal and then start working towards the new goal.
In marriages, after the wedding and say buying the house, many people find it hard to come to having children as the next priority. Oftentimes, this creates a crack in the relationship that mostly ends with a divorce.
Unfortunately, even in today’s day and age, many partners in a marriage face a lot of abuse from their partners. This abuse can be either physical or emotional in nature, but the impact of the abuse on the person facing it is always life changing.
Thankfully, many people are able to prioritise their own sanity over the marriage and decide to end the abusive relationship by filing for divorce.
5. Drug abuse
Alcohol and drug intake have been the reason behind many failed marriages. The person suffering with the addiction suddenly changes as a person and focuses completely on getting high.
This obviously takes a huge toll on the marriage, and often the other partner is not able to carry the burden of a strenuous relationship for a long time. Often, things end with a divorce.
One of the most common reasons couples file for a divorce is because of one of the partners indulging in an extra marital affair. One can only imagine the impact of such a behaviour on the relationship and the marriage itself. Not surprisingly, a big majority of these cases end up in a divorce case filed.
7. Lack of communication
Marriage is a team event where both individuals need to work well together to make the marriage work. If the couple is not communicating what they are feeling, often the other person feels ignored and undervalued. This behaviour often also results in smaller issues blowing out of proportions because they have been supressed for so long.
8. Lack of intimacy
Getting intimate with someone is one of the important ways that humans express their love and trust. A marriage where intimacy and sex is missing is always on rocky roads because it can take very small issues for doubt and insecurities to creep into the relationship.
The lack of intimacy also raises a lot of questions in the minds of the partner, and once doubt enters a relationship, things can do downhill very fast. Just remember, marriage is a lifetime commitment because it takes one to continually invest in it to make things work.