Take it from someone who knows, it sucks being “the other guy”. Especially when you’re young. Those Romeo and Juliet moments, sneaking up the fire escape or the rooftop to her bedroom window; those stolen kisses and loving words spoken in hushed tones at parties. Frankly, it’s downright exhausting and a major cause of psychological anxiety. Worse, it damages what may well have been a healthy relationship.
According to the AMA, roughly 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, devasting children. Much of these cases are caused by marital infidelity. So if you think your significant other is cheating on you, there’s a 50/50 shot you’re correct and a divorce may be heading your way. Just to make sure, however, you should look for some warning signs of infidelity that are common among unfaithful spouses.
Here are eight warning signs of infidelity in your husband or wife:
1. They Look Better
Too often in marriage, we become complacent in our appearance. Over the years, we’ve become so used to one another that we have no problem putting on a few pounds, walking around in saggy underwear, eating cereal at noon and letting the milk drip down your chin that you assume your spouse just doesn’t care. The magic is gone.
If your spouse starts buying expensive cologne, shaving, grooming, there’s a chance he or she is trying to catch someone else’s eye. We dress to impress, more often than not, so be wary when he starts wearing nicer suits.
2. Quiet Phone Calls/Internet Communication
“No, honey, I swear I was just watching porn,” is typically a bad cover up for a dirty little trist. When Ashley Madison was hacked last year – a site devoted to people who wanted affairs – the world completely went berserk. Both men and women were terrified and paranoid that their secrets would be exposed.
If you find him/her slamming their laptop down or closing browsers, it may be time to invest in some spyware. That’s only, however, if you really want to know the truth.
If you are unable to reach your loved one, this could be one of the possible warning signs of infidelity. Cell phones have become a hassle, both for parents concerned for their children’s whereabouts and wives/husbands concerned for theirs. It’s not exactly a convenient time when you’re making love to pick up the phone (though apparently, according to surveys, people do – weird).
So if there are missing hours in a day when typically you are able to get ahold of your spouse, he or she may be off with their other lover. Never take their secretary at their word – their whole job is based around covering for them.
4. Different Sex
Sex in marriage can be a wonderful, joyful thing but let’s face it, there will come a time when it becomes routine. You’ve explored everything you thought you might want to and you don’t take much interest in expanding your horizons. But every sexual partner has different tastes. So if you find that your spouse is suddenly aroused differently or begins playing with you in ways he or she didn’t in the past (and that’s entirely up to you), there’s a chance they’ve taken on another. They just forgot who they were with.
Even though hostility could be one of the warning signs of infidelity, this is a little difficult to interpret. When a marriage grows stale, tensions can be at their highest. Little things we used to gloss over suddenly become huge annoyances. So if you find your partner is easily irritated by things they used to let slide, there’s a chance he or she prefers the company of another. But beware, it’s also entirely possible they are completely innocent and just bored or frustrated. It’s advisable at this point to seek counselling rather than hire a private detective.
6. Changed Plans
They never used to work so late, did they? All of a sudden, the boss has come down hard on a new project and they’re going to have to put in overtime. This is another one that is potentially true, but combined with the other signs listed above, it could be a whole lot of lying. You are the best judge of their character. Utilize that as best you can before flying into a rage.
7. Awkward Friends
You may not know for sure, but your friends certainly might. If you’re at a party and things that are normally jovial start to become obviously uncomfortable, it may be because you’re oblivious to what your friends see clear as day. The cheater’s friends may avoid you entirely, or they’ll suddenly become incredibly kind to you, readying themselves for the downfall.
8. Where Did That Money Go?
Financial situations are tough. Perhaps you’re going through a rough patch and you’re stretching your budget pretty thin. It’s wise to keep an eye on their credit card bills. This could one day be used as evidence in court.
In short, everyone in marriage strays a little. It can be just a glance at another woman or man or it could be a full-fledged affair. It’s smart to keep alert, but never be overly paranoid – it’ll only distance them further. Here’s hoping you’re wrong.